Rewatching the Jersey Shore Pilot Will Make You Feel Old As Hell

Five years ago today, Jersey Shore premiered and was pretty instantly dubbed the worst thing that ever happened to American television. Rewatching that pilot, available to stream free on Amazon, is a masterclass in the reverse logic of time and money, how different everyone seems when they are young and poor, before… » 12/03/14 10:58am 12/03/14 10:58am

Supernatural Celebrates 200 Episodes by Sucking Its Own Dick

Supernatural should have a broken back this morning, so hard was it sucking its own dick during last night's 200th episode. Entitled "Fan Fiction," it introduces us to this little bespectacled girl in a pre-magical girl school outfit who has written and is trying to stage a musical version of what she thinks has been… » 11/12/14 9:00am 11/12/14 9:00am

Goosebumps, Buffy, and Punky Brewster: 7 Must-Watch Halloween Specials

Halloween-themed TV episodes, like Halloween, can be sexy, silly, or scary, all three, or more, which is sometimes what happens when you realize that a lot of the actors on The Twilight Zone were very attractive. The tradition of such specials is long, broad, and deep, going back as far as the history of television… » 10/31/14 3:00pm 10/31/14 3:00pm

American Horror Story: Freak Show's Deadliest Episode Yet

Two shocking deaths, two pre-pedophiliac dwarves, one failed suicide, and a Weimar Republic-era snuff film—this has been a relatively sleepy, Sirkian season of American Horror Story. But not last night. We learned: What is Elsa's deal, what is Twisty's deal, and how long puppy play has been a thing, basically. » 10/30/14 9:10am 10/30/14 9:10am

The Current Winners and Losers of This Year's Fall TV

The fall television season has, so far, included one smash hit, one scene involving exploding bags of vomit, and no cancellations. So lots of generally good news for the TV industry. Shonda Rhimes is winning, obviously. People are saying lots of nice things about black-ish. And The CW just aired the best pilot » 10/24/14 11:20am 10/24/14 11:20am

Coming Soon: Scariest TV Show About Scariest Book About Ebola

Ebola mania has reached Hollywood: Richard Preston's The Hot Zone, the scariest fucking book in the English language, is now being turned into a TV show about the deadly disease. The Hollywood Reporter reports that director Ridley Scott has been working with producer Lynda Obst for the past year to adapt the 1994… » 10/17/14 11:40am 10/17/14 11:40am

Chrisley Knows Best Dad Doesn't Have Time for Hillbilly Bullshit

USA's Chrisley Knows Best premiered its second season last night, the latest flash-fried televisual delicatessen. For those who've never had the pleasure: Chrisley stars Todd Chrisley, a businessman and the "patriarch of perfection," his wife, and multiple children. This follows in the successful demi-sitcom… » 10/15/14 12:30pm 10/15/14 12:30pm

A Very Recent History of Real-Life Couples on TV

NBC's new comedy Marry Me, premiering tonight, is written by Happy Endings' David Caspe and, like that show, stars his wife Casey Wilson. It's important that you know Caspe and Wilson are married; should you not, they will remind you—it's the hook of lots of their press coverage. But this sort of thing isn't new, the… » 10/14/14 9:00am 10/14/14 9:00am

Your Walking Dead Premiere Primer

The Walking Dead, America's most popular fantasy about infectious disease, violence, and despair, returns Sunday night for season 5, what will certainly be its most successful yet. And while we never know who is alive or where they are going or who is even running this show anymore—we know this: There may be cannibals. » 10/10/14 10:30am 10/10/14 10:30am

Space Teen Romance Roswell and Its High-Powered Hollywood Legacy

Roswell aired on The WB and then UPN for three seasons, and it turns 15 today. Besides being a forerunner of the kind of adapted-for-the-screen YA that makes up the majority of most culture popularly available on Earth today, it also invented the majority of the most famous people you can think of: Katherine Heigl,… » 10/06/14 11:00am 10/06/14 11:00am

TV's Ugliest Teen Turns 15 Today

The WB's Popular, Ryan Murphy's hallucinogenic dramedy about high school cliques tossed together by the cyclone of fate, turns 15 today. But Mary Cherry, its greatest accomplishment, is timeless. Stupid, selfish, rude, wealthy—as a nation we are always just about to catch up with Cherry, re: how awful it is possible… » 9/29/14 11:27am 9/29/14 11:27am

What S.H.I.E.L.D. Is Getting Right and What It Could Still Get Wrong

Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. returns tonight after a first season that most of us can't remember, but we're hopeful. Co-creator Joss Whedon and cohorts are always making bad television that then somehow swerves into greatness, shows about teenaged female vampire slayers and very old neurotic serial killers and… » 9/22/14 11:00pm 9/22/14 11:00pm

First Great Medical Drama ER Turns 20 Today

ER turns 20 today and usually we are still talking about ER because it is the First Great Medical Drama, the Last Great Network Drama (30+ million viewers weekly), or because reruns, you know? But its most sustained success was the cast, exceptional from the beginning and over 15 seasons, including more than 25… » 9/19/14 8:00am 9/19/14 8:00am

Tim & Eric's New Show Actually Doesn't Suck

Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim are returning to Adult Swim tonight with a new anthology, Tim & Eric's Bedtime Stories, premiering at 12:15 a.m., and what you should know is: You, like me, can be a totally hip, with-it kind of person and be exhausted with Tim & Eric, with Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! and Tim… » 9/18/14 11:10am 9/18/14 11:10am